Three Days in the Atlanta International Airport

5 Mar

I am setting myself up for three full days there. Why?

Simple: I am a poor college student doing everything I can to get myself to Chile for spring break on a standby ticket.

Standby ticket means that I have to wait for an open seat on a Delta flight. Delta only flies to Santiago, Chile once a day. If I can’t go Friday night, I’ll try Saturday night. If I can’t go Saturday night, I’ll try Sunday night.

The horrid moments in “America’s busiest airport” await my arrival. I can imagine it. My third possible day in the airport. I will sit in the non-sleepable chairs, stuffed with food court cuisine, hot from cabin fever, and beginning to loathe the airport hobby of “people watching.”

Watch out for negative Nancy.

Then I will wonder, and suppose it is something you have wondered, “Why don’t they have movie theaters in airports?”

Why don’t they have spas? Nail salons? Bowling alleys? Designated nap areas? Short comedy shows?

No wonder everyone is so mean in the Atlanta airport. There is nothing but expensive flights with more expensive stores. You are negative $10 just from stepping in because the baggage claimer guy has convinced you that he can take your bags…you couldn’t possibly do that yourself.

This place has the potential to be so much cooler.

So, here is my genius idea: TO ALL cinema and nail spa owners, comedians, and masseuses…target those layover customers. We all know layovers have their own category of boredom and insanity.

Imagine how much money people would make if they entertained the “layoverers” and negative Nancys.

Five dollars a person, easily seeing 300 people a day=$1,500. Cha-ching.

Having said this, it would be nice if a comedian or two would read this, understand my genius idea, and run on over to the Atlanta airport. Preferably tomorrow through Sunday.


One Response to “Three Days in the Atlanta International Airport”

  1. mixonian March 12, 2010 at 11:56 pm #

    I hope your suggestions get implemented soon! Can’t wait to hear about your adventure!

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